50% MBA?!?!

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NOTE: The following rumblings are purely unstructured and mostly incomprehensible. Read at your own risk!

NOTE (This time in BOLD): This is a work of fiction (BOLD+ITALICS to emphasize the importance)!!!

It’s almost been a year since I last updated my blog. An unwritten, yet binding code prevents MBA students from accepting the fact that they ever have any free time. Unfortunately, my mind too has been warped beyond any potential repair and I too have become a victim of the same. I was never a gifted writer, but I can safely say that my wri-turd days are back. Maybe, if I wasn’t required to write. Maybe if could just make a presentation (or a spreadsheet) and upload it instead, I would have blown your mind with the same nonsensical bullshit overdosed with smart arts and info graphics so awesome that you would want to marry and have babies with it.

But, I’ll refrain from doing all that. You know, exposure to awesomeness of this degree can mind-fuck you beyond recognition. You would assume that after a year of MBA (that too marketing) I would have turned into a Jargon-ator of sorts spewing words incomprehensible yet at the same time sounding ultra super intellectual. Naah, there’s nothing like that. Honestly, I still spend have my time filling forms claiming to be a good Team Player and stating to be an integral member of my committee. Yes, integral member. I emphasize ‘integral’ every-single-time as if I have been binary all my life and being integral is my single biggest achievement till date. While almost 82.5% of the batch has updated their status messages with primary data content as,

“Half an MBA. Looking forward to the next year. Hope the challenges continue and I keep on shining”,

more than 93% of them actually want to convey this,

“ Hah! So most people in my friend list still haven’t cleared their CAT. You dumb fucking morons. Look at me. I am awesome. Yes, you too Mr. Boytoy who my ex-girlfriend is currently with. OMGOMGOMG I am awesomeness personified. Told you, you shouldn’t have left me. Please come back. Please-Take-Me-Back. No? Sl*t!”

The truth however is that most of us still have no clue about what we are doing. While 50% of us are wallowing in self doubt and 49% have entered a state of perennial maniacal depression, the only breed (the 1%) having fun is the “Maare Daddy ke paas 100 crore ki zamin se” FMB janta. I don’t really have a storyboard for this post. I just thought I should capture some snippets of my first year before I take a sabbatical for another twenty thousand years.

  • The Yoga Diaries: Yoga and I have always had a Love-Hate relationship. I have always loved the thought of not doing yoga and hated the thought of doing it (makes sense?) I sometimes wonder what if the some of the things that have been applicable in our context were also in practice during ancient mythological India. You know, Lord Krishna would have been given a double downgrade for Raas Leela and breaking Gopion ki Matki. “Sorry. No more manning the chariot. You’ll be a foot soldier from now on. And give me back that Sudarshan Chakra. Because of the downgrade, you are now only allowed to slap your enemies!”  Still, the dejected God would take solace in the fact that the worst is now over. He would look for to the big war, prepare and mug up the very Pulp Fictiony ‘I dare you. I double dare you’ type dialogues for Arjuna only to find out on the day of the war, “Sorry bro, but according to Article 58.0.0.8, which we just amended 15 seconds ago, you are not eligible to participate in Mahabharata!”
  • Downgrade Wala Love: Now, you know how most of us are tagged in pictures with girls in 5:1 ratio as the boys. Don’t be dejected. While we aren’t really stopping down to our Engineering levels of photoshopping girls in our pictures, things aren’t all that rosy either! For instance, there are hardly any BREAK-UPs. With the bloody 11 o’ clock deadlines, boyfriends/girlfriends in long distance relationships barely feel the need to be jealous. Add to that the infrastructure constraints in Bombay along with value-based guards, which don’t leave much scope for exploration either. Good thing is, we are all by now well versed with the concept of “Time Value of Fun.” It is always better to go out and party today than postponing it for tomorrow because you never know what deadlines are in store for you. Do not challenge or question. Heroism is contagious and hence a punishable offense.
  • Engineers Beware: DO NOT, and I mean DO NOT even for an instance think that being an engineer makes you genetically superior to the Economics graduate or a CA or even a CFA level 1! Come Fin exams and even the Mimbo-est (Male+Bimbo) of this pack suddenly turn into an irresistible stud for the opposite gender. All of a sudden they go on a flirting binge and start making guest appearances in every girl’s Top-5, while you are left wondering if the ‘ranked amongst the top 1 percentile in AICTE exams’ clause in  your CV is worth two shit!

Anyhow, that’s enough for the night. It’s the time of the year when seniors are leaving the college and you cannot help but realize that at the end of it all, you are going to miss all this. Maybe if my prediction is right and we are able change the name of our Annual Alumni Meet to Sem 1 Cluster 1 Management Accounting, we would all come back every year at least once, to fail the paper and reminisce about the times spent together.

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4 Comments Add yours

  1. Killed It !!!!! Shri Krishna debarred from Mahabharata would have rendered someone in our college unemployable 😀

    1. perenniallyconfused says:

      Let’s not tread on dangerous waters Mr. Satanpreacher. 6 hafte baad wapas yahi aana hai 😛 😀

  2. Amit Bhasin says:

    I used to like the DCE version more …. Big Fan … but then … ur blog never really disappoints !

  3. asim anand says:

    bindu blogs 😉 lol i always remember that song… who could have sung it better than u… nice blog yar… keep writing…

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