The pre B-School Facebook Group :P

Five more days before I officially join the MBA bandwagon. I’ll be doing what almost 62.4% of all engineering students dream of doing. Out of these, almost 81.45% manage to get a PG degree (one form or the other) while the other 18.55% either wallow in self-doubt, enter a state of maniacal depression hearing stories about those 81.45% or simply get married. Yes, I am living a dream that almost everybody my age dreams and in most cases ends up fulfilling :P. I have been home for almost 15 days now and my daily schedule consists of eating, sleeping and passively observing the Facebook group that has been created to welcome all the overtly eager souls joining a prestigious B-School along with me. To humor myself, I again created a small not-to-do list of things for any such group or forum.

NOTE: This is a completely personal point of you. Any resemblances are purely co-incidental (or are they? 😀)

  • Stop Feeling Important: As soon as you join any such group you would observe a sudden hike in the number of ‘friends’ you have on Facebook. Obviously, many of these would belong to the fairer sex. You would suddenly be the center of attraction amongst all your engineering college frustu friends. Comments like, “Bhai kya maal bandi add ki hai. Profile dikhaiyo” would be very common. Keep your feet grounded. Half of these new friends are going to leave the group to join some other ‘better’ B-school. Your only impending interaction with them would be desperate likes on their profile pictures in hopes of someday having the balls to ping them, ‘hi. wassssup’ 😀
  • You Are Not Cool: Now repeat once again, ‘you are not cool’. Remember this! You’ll realize that your bohemian indifference towards the activities in the forum/group doesn’t count for shit. You HAVE to post a comment citing random links, tag at least 6 people in a day and religiously and un-failingly extend the Paan-Parag-Baarati welcome to every new member who joins :P. Failing to do this can have many repercussions, ranging from no one liking your super-awesome (#hilarious 😀) comments, to no one tagging you as the first person he/she wants to meet as soon as he/she gets to the college. While you are hyperventilating, people would be liking and tagging the popular kids’ posts and comments like a pack of hungry hyenas serenading their prey :D.
  • The ‘Oye, Bubbly’ Effect: Do not give the popular kids (referred to as Pods here onwards) an opportunity to make fun of you. Chances are it will haunt you for the better part of your good life. If it does happen, lay low for a while. As it turns out, Pods have an attention span smaller than a humming-bird with Alzheimer’s 😛
  • Geek Gaata Chal: If there is a person referring to any other member as a geek, chances are fairly high that he/she is possibly a nerd of epic proportions himself/herself (so much for making this post gender unbiased for sake of anonymity :D). Do not forget to display a casual disregard for any interest in studies. Say things like, “I am an engineer, I do things at the last-minute (and at no point should you mention that this is probably why you flunked half the papers!!)” or “I am a farzi commerce/eco  grad, *add a lol or ROFL here to make it cute if you are a girl or to make you appear uglier if you are a guy“. However, and this is important, when anybody asks for help, make it a point to provide a detailed explanation of how the Byzantine empire fell because its king forgot to consider all the variable costs associated with his expenses or how if Napoleon had seen the mistake in the accounting equation of his balance sheet, Cleopatra would not be $##$%%## her office colleague, while working from home!!!!!
  • Hope Is A Good Thing: Not all things in the group are bad! At the end of every long, hard day, keep looking at the new members added to the group. Hopefully, you’ll find at least one hot chic/guy. You might never be able to date him/her, because lets face it, by now they have probably (almost certainly) tagged and liked anything remotely associated with the Pods :P. Whatever happens, this small act can being a smile to your face. You might be smiling at your misfortune, but hey, a smile is a smile! 😀

Enjoy your imperfectness. At the end of the day, this is what makes you unique. And unlike me, take your pre-foundation study courses seriously or you are majorly fucked! 😀

PS-There is a very good chance that the blog gets lost in the world of anonymity again because of my busy schedule. If this be the case, do not let my idiotic efforts go in vain. In other words, get off your bum and comment-all you Anonymous Visitors. And while you are at it, how about sharing the post if you like it *uses the ancient puppy dog face technique* 😀

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15 Comments Add yours

  1. zabardasti chhep says:

    # hilarious! 😉

    1. perenniallyconfused says:

      Thank you dear anonymous visitor 🙂
      IF my instincts prove me correct and this is Mahauli, ye le bhai ki taraf se jhappi 😀
      ELSE ignore the previous line 😛

  2. Paritosh says:

    Puppy face works for women and ahem… puppies 😀
    P.S.- “Ooh yo so funny Kumar, I just named my humerus ‘Atulya’ ❤ "- Cute girl on fb page posted this

    1. perenniallyconfused says:

      …and yet all the comments on this post till now have been from guys. Hence proved, men are dogs (err, I mean puppies!) 😀
      PS-Aapko limb bones ke naam bhi yaad hain? Pranaam sweekar karen _/|\_

    2. Paritosh says:

      Bros before hos, hence the comments from guys only 😀
      P.S.- ‘Humerus’ ka naam to yaad rakhna banta hai 😛

    3. perenniallyconfused says:

      Free ki advice: Aaj kal bros bhi bros ka kaat te hain. Sambhal ke 😉

    1. perenniallyconfused says:

      Thank you Ankit 🙂
      Let me join the college and I might be able to produce more random bull-crap than ever 😛
      Keep reading!

  3. Maddy says:

    Nice!! Finally i figured what to do apart from staring at my Google group. Thanks O enlightened one!! 😉

    1. perenniallyconfused says:

      The Enlightened one Speaketh:
      Maddy, the level of interaction should be directly proportional to how many Pods-like qualities you possess 😛
      Notice, the qualities you possess and not the qualities you think you possess! 😀
      PS- You guys have a google group? Is it safe to assume you are from ISB? 😉

  4. Shrutika says:

    Thanks a lot Atulya! You just penned down every feeling I had since past 1 month. I loved the part – repeat “I am not cool”. Hahahahaha!
    I so want to co-write a “I am not cool” oath for people which everyone has to take before even thinking about such a group on Facebook.

    – Fellow sufferer

    1. perenniallyconfused says:

      Thank you Shrutika 🙂
      I had no clue that the symptoms were so generic 😀
      Tell me what happens to the Pods in your college once you get there 😛

  5. Not-so-kewl says:

    Bang on target brother..I guess this is the story of every B-school group out there..esp the posting random links and tagging at least 6 people part…they seem to have discussed everything under the sun including the sun 🙂

  6. Abha Ajmera says:

    I wish I had come across this earlier!!! It would have lightened up my passive-facebook-watching days. It would be even more awesome if you could post a follow-up article to this about what happened when u actually MET the pods 😛

  7. Pratistha Srivastav says:

    I feel like its a sin that i haven’t had a chance to read it before today,I couldn’t stop laughing while going through this and the way you marketed your blog during the first presentation , it doesn’t even need that much, it’s AWESOME.period. 😉

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