Five more days before I officially join the MBA bandwagon. I’ll be doing what almost 62.4% of all engineering students dream of doing. Out of these, almost 81.45% manage to get a PG degree (one form or the other) while the other 18.55% either wallow in self-doubt, enter a state of maniacal depression hearing stories about those 81.45% or simply get married. Yes, I am living a dream that almost everybody my age dreams and in most cases ends up fulfilling :P. I have been home for almost 15 days now and my daily schedule consists of eating, sleeping and passively observing the Facebook group that has been created to welcome all the overtly eager souls joining a prestigious B-School along with me. To humor myself, I again created a small not-to-do list of things for any such group or forum.
NOTE: This is a completely personal point of you. Any resemblances are purely co-incidental (or are they? 😀)
- Stop Feeling Important: As soon as you join any such group you would observe a sudden hike in the number of ‘friends’ you have on Facebook. Obviously, many of these would belong to the fairer sex. You would suddenly be the center of attraction amongst all your engineering college frustu friends. Comments like, “Bhai kya maal bandi add ki hai. Profile dikhaiyo” would be very common. Keep your feet grounded. Half of these new friends are going to leave the group to join some other ‘better’ B-school. Your only impending interaction with them would be desperate likes on their profile pictures in hopes of someday having the balls to ping them, ‘hi. wassssup’ 😀
- You Are Not Cool: Now repeat once again, ‘you are not cool’. Remember this! You’ll realize that your bohemian indifference towards the activities in the forum/group doesn’t count for shit. You HAVE to post a comment citing random links, tag at least 6 people in a day and religiously and un-failingly extend the Paan-Parag-Baarati welcome to every new member who joins :P. Failing to do this can have many repercussions, ranging from no one liking your super-awesome (#hilarious 😀) comments, to no one tagging you as the first person he/she wants to meet as soon as he/she gets to the college. While you are hyperventilating, people would be liking and tagging the popular kids’ posts and comments like a pack of hungry hyenas serenading their prey :D.
- The ‘Oye, Bubbly’ Effect: Do not give the popular kids (referred to as Pods here onwards) an opportunity to make fun of you. Chances are it will haunt you for the better part of your good life. If it does happen, lay low for a while. As it turns out, Pods have an attention span smaller than a humming-bird with Alzheimer’s 😛
- Geek Gaata Chal: If there is a person referring to any other member as a geek, chances are fairly high that he/she is possibly a nerd of epic proportions himself/herself (so much for making this post gender unbiased for sake of anonymity :D). Do not forget to display a casual disregard for any interest in studies. Say things like, “I am an engineer, I do things at the last-minute (and at no point should you mention that this is probably why you flunked half the papers!!)” or “I am a farzi commerce/eco grad, *add a lol or ROFL here to make it cute if you are a girl or to make you appear uglier if you are a guy“. However, and this is important, when anybody asks for help, make it a point to provide a detailed explanation of how the Byzantine empire fell because its king forgot to consider all the variable costs associated with his expenses or how if Napoleon had seen the mistake in the accounting equation of his balance sheet, Cleopatra would not be $##$%%## her office colleague, while working from home!!!!!
- Hope Is A Good Thing: Not all things in the group are bad! At the end of every long, hard day, keep looking at the new members added to the group. Hopefully, you’ll find at least one hot chic/guy. You might never be able to date him/her, because lets face it, by now they have probably (almost certainly) tagged and liked anything remotely associated with the Pods :P. Whatever happens, this small act can being a smile to your face. You might be smiling at your misfortune, but hey, a smile is a smile! 😀
Enjoy your imperfectness. At the end of the day, this is what makes you unique. And unlike me, take your pre-foundation study courses seriously or you are majorly fucked! 😀
PS-There is a very good chance that the blog gets lost in the world of anonymity again because of my busy schedule. If this be the case, do not let my idiotic efforts go in vain. In other words, get off your bum and comment-all you Anonymous Visitors. And while you are at it, how about sharing the post if you like it *uses the ancient puppy dog face technique* 😀