Itch-hikers Guided To My Room

Let’s begin the post with a fun fact. Did you know that the No. 1 cause of death for students residing in hostels at engineering colleges is Mosquito Bites? Of course, other No. 1’s to this list include ‘Professoral Torture’, ‘Lathi Charge’ and ‘Sexual Depravation’. Yesterday, I posted a status message on facebook sharing my plight at being mercilessly hunted down by these blood sucking predators. Going by the Facebook ‘in-thingy’ of I-Like-Whatever-I -See, six buggers ‘liked’ it (I hate you guys :P).

Anyhow, researches have shown that mosquitoes are infact the third most intelligent form of life on earth (preceded only by mice and dolphins; humans are ranked seventh). Following the results of this path-breaking research, the Vice Chance -pe -Dancellor of DTU has unleashed upon the denizens of the hostels a breed of genetically advanced and potentially dangerous mosquitoes (codenamed: ‘KKMTKPJ’ or Kutte kamine main tera khoon pee jaunga) to prevent them from protesting.

Prof. Edward Queer Cullen, who lead this attack said that these blood thirsty SOBs are impervious to any insect repellent known to man. These repellents just give them a high. These Mosquitoes, KKMTKPJ 1.0 are armed with the weapon of confusion and have been extensively trained to conduct planned assaults. They attack you when you are most vulnerable (eg. while excusing your body from the unnecessary fluids or solid or semi solids (plasma in some cases)). A group of just 5 mosquitoes can render you haplessly itching and hopelessly looking for help.

I remember the days (4 months back) when i could kill a mosquito by bashing my eyelids, clicking a chopstick or (the easiest) just farting. I do not know if this is my mid life crisis or advances in science that have rendered me helpless. I am scared, terrified, petrified (WARNING-vocab limit reached!) etc etc. Right now I can see them hovering above my head, studying my every move and planning another organised strike. Pray for me!

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19 Comments Add yours

    1. perenniallyconfused says:

      _/|\_ thank you 🙂

  1. swati khurana says:

    how do u come up with stuff like KKMTKPJ??
    very creative!!

    1. perenniallyconfused says:

      I am actually a shape shifting mouse spy…hence the super human intelligence 😀

  2. suhas prabhakar says:

    u r one genetically modified creature for sure …..nice article…:P

    1. perenniallyconfused says:

      having known me for so long, i suppose there is no point contradicting you 😛
      thanks…keep reading 🙂

  3. Prateek Jain says:

    Saala bahot south park dekhta hai…… 🙂 😀
    but I appreciate how dedicated he is to that serial…. he has started looking at the world with Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s eyes………. 😉 😀
    and as Iago had mentioned earlier… “Bravo”…

    1. perenniallyconfused says:

      cm’on dude…this is one of the least southpark inspired posts…completely 100% original…I haven’t started looking at the world with their eyes, we just happen to have a similar point of view 🙂
      also, dhanyavaad 🙂

  4. Prateek Jain says:

    It is totally south park inspired from some episode named Sexquito Harresment in which cartman was sexually harrased by KKMTKPJ 1.0……. 😉

    1. perenniallyconfused says:

      yeah right…cartman being harassed by Indian mosquitoes…screw you 😀

  5. kanika says:

    lol… 😛

    1. perenniallyconfused says:

      :D:D

  6. Sweta says:

    queer?really? as in gay?:P hope not cos a lot of girls out there would do a zombie dance on you 😛 😛

    nice blog.Hopping over from idniblogger.Your sense of humour…does make sense 😛

    1. perenniallyconfused says:

      I have just echoed the sentiments of every boy whose girlfriend prefers a vampire over him…common sense dictates that a logical choice between a human and a vampire would be a human…but if girls still prefer vampires, I wouldn’t mind the zombie dances (its about time guys start experimenting):P
      Thank you for the re-assurances, much appreciated…keep reading 🙂

  7. Sweta says:

    Well you can’t blame the girls,you know?they are insanely hot,if even they are,sort of,you know…dead 😛

    1. perenniallyconfused says:

      hehehe…even at the risk of earning the grudges of all my female followers (by which I mean girls who follow my blog :P), I wouldn’t generalize that…if you agree to throw in some extra parameters like ‘one is in an engineering college’ or ‘one has only been in an all boys school’ etc etc, your point holds weight 😀

  8. 🙂 I like the reference to intelligent species Mice and Dolphins

    1. perenniallyconfused says:

      hehehe…of course you do…not everybody gets the reference though 🙂

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