I have been trying for over a day now to come up with a good starting line for this post. I thought about mentioning how the Dehradun-Mussoorie trip with my friends helped me unravel the mysteries of life, universe and space time continuum. To state the awesomeness of our trip, I considered every possible delusional attribute of my brain. You know the times when you spend a whole lot of money and pretend like you had truckloads of fun. This trip was nothing like that. It was awesomilicious.
However, this post does not concern itself with the great times we had (everybody writes about that). Going by my fondness for ‘out of the ordinary’ thinking (\m/), I plan to list down my discoveries and all the imperfect things that happened on this nearly perfect trip. Buckle up. It’s gonna be a bumpy ride :).
- Disc#1: Redbull and Paneer Butter Masala form a potent mixture. If you plan to stay awake and catch an early train, avoid a heavy meal followed by cans of redbull. You would find yourself hyperactive at one moment and hyperventilating the other (references:Bhalu).
- Disc#2: Time, Speed and Distance is an important chapter. Make sure that the driver you hire is well versed with this particular topic. Trust me, somebody who does not know the difference between distance and displacement is a really bad option.
- Disc#3: Silence is next to Godliness. If you are forced to enter a “World Famous in India Temple” where you find they serve free food and jalebis, make sure you text your atheist friend to come in and not blast your lungs out inviting him.
- Disc#4: The Chain Reaction Syndrome. There are two completely opposite things that trigger a completely similar reaction amongst people of the same gender. If a guy in Dehradun contemplates skipping a bath until he reaches Mussoorie, so would the others. While if a single girl decides to treat herself to a shower, the others would definitely follow suit.
- Disc#5: Let the ladies ask for directions. If you do not, you would find yourself driving miles into wilderness thinking that you are on the right path. Then, you would drive an extra 5 mile, just in case.
- Disc#6: Respect your Rai Bans. If you have spent hours pointing out how your fake chinese ray ban rip-off looks even more original than Bhalu’s not-fake aviators, make sure you do not walk into a waterfall wearing them.
- Disc#7: Stupidity is Contagious. If you have girls accompanying you on the trip, be prepared for any amount of nonsense. Questions like, ” I wonder how many miles of undiscovered caves are there”, would be fairly common. Pretend you listen, smile in agreement, but do not pay attention to it.
- Disc#8: Carry your mp3 player. There exists a highly unlikely scenario of girls bursting into Hanuman Chalisa on an already nauseating hilly ride (happened with us!).
- Disc#9: Lose Weight. No threats of you being fuelled with vengeance and space age technology would work on a shopkeeper if he does not have a Led Zepp t-shirt of your size. You would just end up being royally pissed off!
- Disc#10: Watch what you eat. Remember, a bad case of die-whore-ia can render your room inhospitable within seconds (references Citrix boy_1).
*Title references: Brownian Motion (Bhalu’s Blog)