DISCLAIMER: The author of this post reached the global maxima of his (so called) writing capabilities with The Generation Gap 3050 post. Any claims of mental fractures caused by subsequent posts shall be completely ignored (unless the visitor makes at least 15 comments and contributes over 100 hits to the blog.)
If you are reading this, I still suggest that you go back and revise some of the better posts (and in the process improve my blog stats :P). I have to admit that I have completely run out of any creative juices left in me. I am dumbing down. I am not entirely to blame for this. In the past two months I have been exposed to the dreaded world of television, which is rejecting quality programmes in favour of low-brow crap. The entire industry is conspiring against me (and my blog 😦 ). To witness the extent of my torture, read along:
Rahul Ki Swayamvadhu (/var, whatever): Here we are looking at suitable brides for possibly the most ineligible bachelor of the country on NDTV Imagine (imagine, just imagine!!). Here is my version of what might happen on the yet to begin show:
Host- So, do you think the man you might get married to is good?
Wannabe Model (bawana babe posing as sati-savitri types)- No, he’s a miserable wife-beating ,insensitive lout. But you know, I am a Media Whore looking forward to changing his life.
Ho- But he has been accused of substance abuse.
WM- No, no, no. You are wrong. I read in many magazines. He was just having coke. Its so hot. I toh have coke all day.
Ho- Your views on a drug user and wife beater hosting children’s talent shows?
WM- Oh Jejus. This shows he is so talented, no. He told me once that he asked the children never to buy drugs. If they become famous, they would get it for free. I am so thankful to my Jejus that he did not participate in Rakhi ka Swayamvar, else she would have married him. (Why the f%^$ didn’t that happen x(.)
Mahayatra: This is one show I find disgusting. I despise it to an extent that I am unable to mock it. We have 10 odd contestants and their families with “char dham ki yatra” at stake. The producers are searching for the kalyug ka shravan kumar by making them perform roadies type tasks. Contestants are asked to carry their parents on gruelling mountains terrains (I just hope they fall and break every bone in their body, bada aaya shravan kumar ban ne). They have immunities and get eliminated. Why waste money on the show when they can simply sponsor the trips for the contestants and their four coming generations for much less. Please do not watch it.
Veer: I have not seen the movie and thank god for it. The trailers itself have done the damage. We have Salman Khan potraying a 19th century warrior fighting the British, while wearing jeans and half jackets accessorised with hoods :D. His accent makes him look more like a british spy in the pindari clan. Such is the extent of the damage that people from pindari clan now refuse to associate themselves with the name and might press charges (I would, if I were them). The only good point was the casting of Fatrina as the leading lady. It is high time people realize that venn diagrams work better than line charts :D.
NEWS Channels: They show anything but news. Infact, Ramgopal Verma is planning a new movie “I see dumb people” based on viewers response to sensationalism. I have heard rumours of an India Whining campaign. It would have a segment charging the makers of Slice (the soft drink with no caffeine :P) of Brain Drain. They have exclusive footages of an advertisement that supposedly says “Russia aaja“, causing people to leave India and go to Russia looking for greener pastures 😀 :D. Another segment would deal with the lack of Gabbar’s terrorist vision and how a movie with Aamir Khan as mogambo would have been better (You see, he is a perfectionist) :D.
Disappointed! I warned you. But my spirit of Shameful Self Promotion is still intact. I know I am dumbing down but your visits to my blog is a testimony of your dumbness too :P. I will be back in Delhi in a couple of days.I jst hope and pray that the effect weans off by then.