Ever had that feeling of paranoia. One, when your mind is overflowing with random thoughts and confusion reigns supreme. Well more than occasionally this paranoia is my reality. Calling me paranoid might be a hyperbole but I do have constant pangs when irrationality reigns supreme. Under these scenarios, while most of us try shelter ourselves under the aegis of a logical explanation or a rational thought process, I whine.
Quite interestingly, I was pretty much unaware of my fixation with this particular characteristic as a reaction to any and every of my problems, until fingers were pointed. Even my blog is filled with instances of me grumbling at any and every opportunity. I constantly draw attention to me being treated as a wri-turd instead of a writer due to my inability to produce flowery posts. I have even earned the moniker of being ‘the Rondu’ at the poker table because of my constant reminders of incurring a loss. I am at my grizzliest worst the night before any exam. I have this non reflexive ability to twist and turn my problems into the problems of others. More so, I even make them realize that the problem wouldnt even have existed if it werent for them and how they are the root cause of it. The worst part is, I hate reassurances. Reassurances make me uncomfortable. Hence, I get grumpier.
Fortunately for me, my circle of friends understands me for who I am. They act as the valium for my sudden outburts of red bull. Frankly, I do not mind yawping. This is my mode of expressing myself. Its better this way. Afterall, isnt this what we need to make a day extra special- Whining and Dining with friends 😛