Sales, rants & all things 2015

“Targets are like Orgasms. You’ll know when it happens. Asking ‘Hua kya, Hoga kya’ does jack-shit. You’ll be asked to plan better. But Planning is like foreplay. Half of India doesn’t know how to do it & even if done properly, a lot of factors can screw things up for you. Waise bhi, ye territory hi kharab hai saala. Yahan…

Sales Sales Baby!

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. For higher studies (not funny? OK. Let me try again) Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. For a CV point. “Successfully implemented an On-Foot Road crossing mechanism identifying a headroom of <whatever currency chicken’s deal with>” (No? OK. Final attempt.) Q. Why did…

Twitter, Because Facebook is too Mainstream

NOTE: <Customary whoring> Follow me on Twitter @kumaratulya. See a Follow button? Press it till it turns blue! <End of Customary whoring> An empty mind is a devil’s watering hole. (Rough Translation: Khali dimaag bhai jaan, shaitaan ke bakchodi ki dukaan.) My joining is not until July and I am stuck in the Home-Mode, or…

MUMBAI, MBA: Prologue

Let me begin this post with a confession. I, like many, am only writing this because I’m happy with my current ROT metric. ROT? Well, Return on Testimonial ratio (for the uninitiated, this is a reference to our yearbook). My world famous in Patna uncle once said, “With great powers, comes greater responsibilities to misuse…

The Good Bye E-mail…

This is the last e-mail that I wrote before leaving dunnhumby. I don’t really know what made me stumble across this again, but I found it worth going on the blog. For old times sake… Hi All, Let me begin this mail with a (not so) fun fact. Did you know today is my last…

50% MBA?!?!

NOTE: The following rumblings are purely unstructured and mostly incomprehensible. Read at your own risk! NOTE (This time in BOLD): This is a work of fiction (BOLD+ITALICS to emphasize the importance)!!! It’s almost been a year since I last updated my blog. An unwritten, yet binding code prevents MBA students from accepting the fact that…

Segmenting a Bar Crowd :D

Think outside the box they said… Open up your horizons they said… So I did just that and this is what I came up with😉 The handwriting is a bit fuzzy as i am not used to writing on white boards. But, for the benefit of the 5 odd readers of my blog, here are…

The pre B-School Facebook Group :P

Five more days before I officially join the MBA bandwagon. I’ll be doing what almost 62.4% of all engineering students dream of doing. Out of these, almost 81.45% manage to get a PG degree (one form or the other) while the other 18.55% either wallow in self-doubt, enter a state of maniacal depression hearing stories…

Road Trip

They said, the journey of a thousand miles begins with about 30 liters of petrol in your Chevy Beat. What they didn’t say, is it could leave you with blistered feet and an aching bum I’m not very good with good byes. Come to think of it, I am not very good with any socially…

Key Nuggets

I had an awesome last-b’day-in-delhi-before-I-leave-this-place-for-good celebration a few days back. It was also the day that I set an all time best personal record for talking to someone on phone (socially awkward being that I am, this was no less of an achievement for the one on the other side. Three bloody hours! Kudos to…

Grief and a glass of water

PS- This is a completely personal point of view (though I am sure you guys would agree :D) PPS- Share/RT the comics if you like them (yeah yeah, I know I am the Rakhi Sawant of blogosphere. But, a little whoring never hurt anybody :P)